Little Miss ShyWednesday, September 29, 2010
I'm a shy person. Being shy often causes people to assume that I'm a snob. They never realize that I'm just a very shy girl who needs a little time to feel comfortable around them.
I really struggle with the fact that some people just aren't going to like me, despite everything I do to get them to see me as a friend. This has been something that has always bothered me. I know that a lot of times, they tell you that you shouldn't care what people think of you, and that is how I feel most of the time. But I think it's really hurtful to have someone just dislike you for no apparent reason. I'm already a very shy person, and being shy makes me sort of paranoid that people don't like me. So I try very hard to be friendly and kind. Recently, I discovered that a girl who I've known for a few years as an acquaintance doesn't like me at all. And I really have no idea why. I've always been courteous and polite to her. I've asked her how she was and given her little compliments on several occasions. I don't think there is anything else I can do, short of asking her flat out what her problem with me is. I don't know if any of you have struggled with something like this. It just really hurts my heart.
Most of my friends have told me that she isn't worth all this stress. I know that they are right, but it's hard. The shy girl inside me feels like all of this is her fault, and that if she was a little more outgoing, everyone would like her.
My shyness has always been an issue. Most people tell me to get over it and stop being shy. Honestly, that just makes me feel worse. I'm not BEING shy; I AM shy. I once had a professor tell me that I needed to grow up and get over my shyness, or I was never going to be a successful person in society. That really pissed me off. Not everyone is comfortable being an extrovert. I've recently discovered that my shyness stems from a deep fear of being embarrassed. I'm absolutely terrified of being embarrassed. Something in my past must have caused this fear to manifest into my extreme shyness.
I think it is really incredible how complex we are as human beings. I'm an extremely complicated person. My shyness is just one layer of who I am. There is also a very silly, goofy, and outgoing person hiding underneath the shyness.
I'm always telling myself to be brave. I know that sounds pretty lame, but it helps. Shy girls have to be brave because the world doesn't really understand how crippling shyness can be.
Are you shy??
How do you cope??