Life As A Shy GirlThursday, March 24, 2011
Life as a shy girl...is pretty rough sometimes.
I have blogged about shyness a few times before, and I always feel like there is so much more to say afterwards. I follow several bloggers who are outgoing & extremely extroverted. I love reading about their lives and adventures, but I often wonder where all the shy introverts are hiding in the blogging world. While I'm sure there are plenty of shy bloggers, I think it is a rare thing to find a shy & introverted blogger who is willing to share their struggles and experiences openly. That is the main reason why I enjoy writing about my own struggles with shyness.
As most of you know if you've been around here for a while, I'm an extremely shy girl. I have struggled with shyness since I was a child. When I was younger, I often thought my shyness was something I just had to get over. While that has been partly true for me as an adult, I have also come to realize that being shy is part of who I am as a person. I can't just change who I am all of a sudden.
I'm writing about shyness based on my own experiences. I'm not an expert on dealing with shyness, so please don't hesitate to ask for professional help if your shyness starts to interfere with your daily life.
Outgoing people just don't get it...and they never will. I have had countless discussions with my outgoing & extroverted friends about shyness. The reason extroverts don't understand the paralyzing affect shyness can have on a person is because they don't have the same inhibitions. It really upsets me when someone tells me to just get over it and stop being shy. There was once a time when I use to find myself envious of my outgoing friends. I have slowly come the realization that I have to accept myself the way I am, shyness and all. I feel like asking myself to stop being shy is like asking a dolphin to stop being a water mammal. It's just not realistic.
There are some benefits to being shy...such as the fact that people have to work a little bit in order to get to know you better. If someone is genuinely interested in you, they will make the effort to get you to open up. Also, shy people have an air of mystery about them. I think guys are more interesting when they are a little bit shy. I'm less likely to approach someone who is loud & outgoing because I find people like that a little bit intimidating.
Shy people are not snobby...and it hurts our feelings when people assume we are snobby because we aren't apt to strike up a conversation. I try very hard to be friendly & sweet to strangers because I'm terrified of being written off as a big fat snob. I also assume someone who keeps to themselves is shy rather than snobby. More often than not, I'm right about their shyness. Maybe it's easier for fellow shy girls to recognize each other. It takes time & patience to overcome extreme shyness. There was once a time in my life when I was even too shy to order my tickets at the movie theatre. I also have dozens of stories where I froze up when it was my turn to order at the restaurant. If you're outgoing, it probably sounds pretty ridiculous to be so overwhelmingly shy that you avoid certain situations & try your hardest to be invisible. If you're shy, you can definitely relate. The best advice I can give to someone struggling with shyness is to be patient with yourself. If you're frustrated with your shyness, take baby steps to break out of your comfort zone. Don't beat yourself up if you aren't comfortable with certain situations.
If you struggle with shyness, I would love to hear about how you deal with it.