Take the First Step

Friday, November 01, 2013


Clickity clackity click clack click...the sound of typing is a little bit foreign to me. It has literally been months since I have opened my laptop or typed anything of some substance. I just woke up out of a restless sleep and felt compelled to reunite with my long lost blog. I'm not sure why I suddenly stopped blogging. It's almost as if I just couldn't muster the energy to compose any of my thoughts. 

I have been struggling with stress, anxiety, and some chronic stomach issues. As some of you know, I suffer from an autoimmune disease. For the past couple of months, I feel like I have been in self-preservation mode. Chronic fatigue, stomach aches, and anxiety have plagued me for years, but I have always been talented at coping. One day a few months ago, I just snapped and gave up on anything excessive. I stopped reading my favorite blogs, I completely gave up on blogging, and I even stopped taking any photos. A strange depression hit me like a ton of bricks and I have been struggling to pull myself out of it ever since. This all may sound kind of strange, but I just want to be honest and up front. 

My health is in a constant state of flux. I can feel fine one day and completely rotten in an instant. I trudge through bad days and rough patches. I hide my illness at work and keep a brave face on most of the time for my family. I don't want the burden of my illness to fully impact anyone else. I am always trying to just "be okay" in order to make it through a normal day. And while this isn't the most horrific life or illness in the world, it can be almost overwhelming at times for me. Sometimes the never-ending pain and fatigue is just too much. 

And right now while I am composing this, there is a nagging voice in my head that tells me to stop whining. I'm not the type to constantly moan and complain. I keep my strength by focusing on the positive. But sometimes, that is just not enough. Sometimes you can just be grumpy, have a crappy day, admit that things are not wonderful, and just be okay with not being okay.

It's been a challenge in the past to write about the normalities of my daily life. The negative side of my illness, the stress of being the main bread winner for my family, and the overwhelming anxiety I have every night. But I really want to be more open. I want to bring more of the real me to this safe place. I would like to say that I have a master plan to bring my blog back to life, but I really just have an overwhelming desire to write. I want to just share my life, interests, and shortcomings with you on a daily basis. 

Truth time: I'm not the best at following through with my goals and plans. Actually, I really suck at following through.  But I want to be better about holding myself accountable for my goals. Today is the first day in November, and I am challenging myself to share something on this blog every single day of this month. 

I'm actually so thrilled to finally break the silence on this blog. Perhaps no one has noticed my absence, but I have truly felt a deep longing in my heart for my lovely little blog since I fell off the face of the internet a several months ago. I feel like I'm bursting at the seams with ideas. 

If you are struggling to make a blog comeback, I would love to hear from you. Actually, I would love to hear from you regardless. I would like to thanks those of you who have sent me encouraging emails. It truly helped me climb out of the doldrums and return to my blog.

Hope you have a day filled with many reasons to be thankful,

Jacque

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22 Quirky Comments

  1. Sweets, I absolutely hear where you're coming from and for what it's worth I did miss you.

    Sometimes it takes a break from blogging to realise how necessary it is. I struggle with depression and like you hate feeling like I'm whinging or whining because in so many ways I have things really good. I live in Australia where there's great healthcare, I have a really awesome doctor who understands my illness, and I can manage it so I can be the breadwinner for my household as well. But last month it all came crashing down. The stress of buying a house and one of the busiest months of work just took it's toll and I just couldn't blog. I mean I didn't have the energy. I wasn't thinking in blog posts and I was knitting as a necessity to unwind.
    So sweets I hope that you get everything you need to take care of yourself. Blogging has helped my depression so much. It gives me a purpose and almost forces me out of my comfort zone and out of bed.
    I do miss your take on the world, but it's so important to take care of yourself. When I first started blogging you were one of my main influences. And as selfish as this sounds it's refreshing to hear that someone that I admire has the same struggles as me.

    Love and sparkles
    Beks
    Xx

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  2. Welcome back and I hope today is a better than usual day :) I look forward to reading daily this month :)

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  3. JACQUE!!! I am glad you are back I've missed your blog posts!!! I'm sorry you haven't been feeling well!! :( I'm excited to see you posting again!!!! LOVE YOU!!!!

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  4. So glad to see you're back! I've missed your posts. Hope it makes you smile writing again :) I also want to try and write my blog a lot more than I have been!xxx

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  5. Great post, have missed your blog!

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  6. I absolutely noticed your absence!! And have really missed you!
    It's great to have you back!
    Sending you love and positivity Xxx

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  7. I've been checking your blog on a minimum weekly basis! So happy to hear from you. I also struggle with depression and anxiety, and I can't imagine how hard it would be to have an additional illness on top of all that. You're a true inspiration and I wish you all the very best.

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  8. Yay! Happy to have you back, I missed reading/seeing all your quirky-ness :P

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  10. It is so great to have you back Jacque! I check your blog constantly for inspiration to be positive! Your blog is my absolute favourite!

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  11. I am sooo happy you are back, I have been keeping an eye out every now and again for new posts and I'm thrilled you have come back :)
    Sushi Girl ♥ xxx

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  12. Hello, I am a new reader (i googled Quirky blogs, and yours came up, lol) and I am so happy that someone other than me has issues following through!! I started a blog a little while ago and just cannot seem to keep up with ideas for it. Ill think of something and forget about it, talk myself out of it because it may not be a good idea, or am just plain lazy and dont do it. I have only read a few of your posts but I think you have another 'lovely' to add to your list. :-)

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  13. I and my boy friend as been separated for a long period, I cam across different spell caster and they were all unable to bring my lover back. I was so sad and almost gave up on him when i met a spell man called Dr.Oluemi, who helped me get my lover back. Ever since then i have been so happy and couldn't believe it would happen. He also helped me with success spell, I have been living happily with my lover now and will be getting married soon. Here is his contact if you need his help. oluemi1spelltemple@gmail.com

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  14. I never believed in spell casters until my life fell apart when my lover of 6 years decided to call it quit. I was so devastated that i had an accident that left me bedridden. After 9 months of emotional pain and languish, a friend of mine introduced me to a certain spell caster, this was after I have been scammed by various fake spell caster. I was introduced to DR Ugodoga ( A Spell Caster). In less than 72 hrs i saw wonders, my Lover came back to me and my life got back just like a completed puzzle... am so happy.. Dr Ugodoga I have all kinds of spells from pregnancy to love,from employment to visa lottery winning. He has spell to stop divorce,spell to make someone look attractive and others. here's his contact for serious minded people only, it might be of help....doctorugodogaspelltemplehome@gmailcom. wow Dr. Ugodoga...thanks am so grateful as you saved my life.

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  15. My name is Daniela i am not suppose to be saying this but due to the ultimate role that nogemaspelltemple@gmail.com has played in my relationship with Philip my husband, me and Philip had been married for five year now, we were very happy together as husband and wife, but until he meant a lady called mercy, things automatically turn from good to bad, he no longer eat at home, he always come home late, he don't even listen to me and does not even take me out as it was some time ago. i was so confuse and frustrated until i meant this lady called Kessiah that once had similar problem, i was force to tell her every of my problem, out of pity she told me about this dr nogema that helped her out, at first i thought it was one of those fraudsters until i met him and he solved my problem without stress, so my husband came back to me and things was as it was before. so i decided to testify to this for the sake of those people that has similar problem, so you can contact him (nogemaspelltemple@gmail.com) or call; (+2348164917868).

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  16. My name is Daniela i am not suppose to be saying this but due to the ultimate role that nogemaspelltemple@gmail.com has played in my relationship with Philip my husband, me and Philip had been married for five year now, we were very happy together as husband and wife, but until he meant a lady called mercy, things automatically turn from good to bad, he no longer eat at home, he always come home late, he don't even listen to me and does not even take me out as it was some time ago. i was so confuse and frustrated until i meant this lady called Kessiah that once had similar problem, i was force to tell her every of my problem, out of pity she told me about this dr nogema that helped her out, at first i thought it was one of those fraudsters until i met him and he solved my problem without stress, so my husband came back to me and things was as it was before. so i decided to testify to this for the sake of those people that has similar problem, so you can contact him (nogemaspelltemple@gmail.com) or call; (+2348164917868).

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  17. My name is Mary ,I am here to testify to the good work of the jato. 2 years ago, my husband left home, he never returned, no phone calls, no letters, no emails, no sign of him anywhere. my daughter got sick so ill, things were so tough for me. I had lost hope, 2 years ago, i met a psychic, he said he would help me, i paid over $500 and still nothing happened, i lost hope completely, my daughter's situation got worse each day.Last month, i saw a posting concerning the good works of the Temple professionals, i gave them a try...i paid about $300, for all three spells (Bring Lover back, Healing spell and Career spells). In a matter of weeks, my husband called me and told me he was sorry and that he wants to come back to me and that he would explain everything when he comes back, three days later, i got a new job with an Oil company, right now, my daughter's condition is getting better each day and i trust she would be well in a matter of days.I want to thanks OCUTAR SPELL CASTER you can contact him via email:ocutarspellhometemple@gmail.com or call +2348069652500 OR +43564764364

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  18. I want you to hear a good testimony of the great love Prophet
    ocutarspellhometemple@gmail.com)
    who help me on my time of problems,
    My name is Elizabeth, and i am from France and i am married with 2kids and i had a lovely family before before all the problem i want to share with you happened,my husband use to be very caring and lovely to me and my kids and we were very happy with each other,until a day and we where having a dinner in one of the restaurant in our state and their was a lady who was sitting close to us and i never knew she was interested to have my husband and due to i was with my husband she could not do anything there then after that day,my husband started to maltreat us at home not knowing that he his seeing that lady until a friend came to told me and i confirm it my self it really hurt due to the love we shared before,it really affected me until a friend who came from Africa told me about the powers of Africa spell Doctors specially Prophet OCUTAR of ocutarspellhometemple@gmail.com,even if i did not believe in spell i had nothing but to try and to my greatest surprise my husband came back home and beg me and now we are living more happy than before please you all should come together and thanks these great Prophet Vicky of ocutarspellhometemple@gmail.com,He can also help you if you believe in him and these is contact emailocutarspellhometemple@gmail.com or call +2348069652500 OR +277575475464
    ,thanks thanks once again

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  19. I and my boy friend as been separated for a long period, I cam across different spell caster and they were all unable to bring my lover back. I was so sad and almost gave up on him when i met a spell man called DR Makuta, who helped me get my lover back. Ever since then i have been so happy and couldnt believe it would happen. He also helped me with success spell, I have been living happily with my lover now and will be getting married soon. Here is his contact if you need his help. makutaspelltemple@gmail.com

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  20. I and my boy friend as been separated for a long period, I cam across different spell caster and they were all unable to bring my lover back. I was so sad and almost gave up on him when i met a spell man called DR Makuta, who helped me get my lover back. Ever since then i have been so happy and couldnt believe it would happen. He also helped me with success spell, I have been living happily with my lover now and will be getting married soon. Here is his contact if you need his help. makutaspelltemple@gmail.com

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  21. i will love to share my testimony to you all the people in world i got married to my husband about 2 year ago we start having problems at home like we stop sleeping on the same bed,fighting about little things he always comes home late at night,drinking too much and sleeping with other women out side i have never love any man in my life except him. he is the father of my child and i don't want to loose him because we have worked so hard together to become what we are and have today .few month ago he now decided to live me and the kid,being a single mother can be hard sometimes and so i have nobody to turn to and i was heart broken.i called my mom and explain every thing to her,my mother told me about DR. BELLO how he helped her solve the problem between her and my dad i was surprise about it because they have been without each other for three and a half years and it was like a miracle how they came back to each other. i was directed to DR. BELLO on his email:drbellospellcaster@gmail.com and explain everything to him,so he promise me not to worry that he will cast a spell and make things come back to how we where so much in love again and that it was another female spirit that was controlling my husband he told me that my problem will be solved within two days if i believe i said OK So he cast a spell for me and after two days my love came back asking me to forgive him i Am so happy now. so that why i decided to share my experience with every body that have such problem contact Dr BELLO the great spell caster on his email addresses (drbellospellcaster@gmail.com )

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Thank you so very much for your lovely comments!